How to Troll on Student Doctor Network to Make Pre-Meds Feel Insignificant

Brag about your volunteer work serving in a third world country.

1. Lie about your perfect MCAT score and GPA.

2. Lie about your 10,000 clinical hours.

3. Tell the people panicking about their 3.8 GPA that they’re doomed.

4. Brag about your acceptances and interviews before any have actually sent out.

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Photo by Kendal on Unsplash

5. Brag about your volunteer work saving children in a third-world country.

6. Make a message board lamenting being accepted into too many schools and not knowing which one to choose from.

7. Share your cliche personal statement about the death of your grandparent.

8. Emphasize that DO school is not real medical school.

9. Make people realize there are only two choices: top 20 or Caribbean medical school

10. Wonder whether your first-author publication is good enough for a research medical school

Written by

Believer, Baltimore City special ed teacher, and 2:40 marathon runner. Diehard fan of “The Wire,” God’s gift to the Earth. E-mail:

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