I Will Never Be Enough For My Toxic Asian Expectations

I want to stop the cycle of prioritizing appearances over mental health

From ptksgc on Pixabay

I was reminded time and time again of how big a disappointment and failure I would be if I didn’t go to medical school.

If I had a dollar for every time someone in my family mentioned medical school during Thanksgiving break, I would be a millionaire. My father wasn’t home because he was at work, but he emphasized the importance of medical school and said he didn’t raise me for me not to be a doctor. My mother emphasized the importance of going to medical school as a means of fulfilling my destiny. My grandparents pressed me on what the status was with me going to medical school.

As a first-generation Chinese American, everyone in my family told me I wouldn’t have any financial or job security unless I went to medical school. Everyone told me it would mean everything to the family and their status if I went to medical school.

I was reminded time and time again of how big a disappointment and failure I would be if I didn’t go to medical school. I essentially nodded my head and said “okay” every time my family would give one of those reminders — choosing to ignore it and attend to my own business.