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Two years ago, in 2018, I succeeded at my New Year’s Resolution. I remember that last year I didn’t make one, but two years ago was the first time I succeeded, and it was such an honest and life-changing resolution that I didn’t need to make one. This year, if I make a resolution, I’ll likely just continue on the trend from my two years ago, and connect that vulnerability with my faith.
I resolved to be more vulnerable. I took incremental and daily efforts to reveal painful life details to friends and loved ones about my childhood and experiences. Every day, I worked a little more towards becoming a more vulnerable person instead of a stoic person that didn’t reveal emotions. I became open and honest about when I was suffering and not doing well, which is a lot more often than I’d like to admit.
And each day that I put about an effort towards my resolution, it was a struggle. But it was a manageable and productive struggle. I will always remember the time, 3:44 a.m. on October 5, 2017, when I sent a letter to my Cross Country team that allowed me to opened up about traumatic struggles my family went through when I went through as a kid — and as this is still the Internet, I can’t go into detail about the contents of that article. My index finger hovered over the “enter” button on my computer for fifteen minutes…
