Poetry On Medium: Looking Around At Everything

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Photo by Sander Crombach on Unsplash

I listened to a sermon on Palm Sunday that moved me in ways I cannot describe with words. It was a meditation on the verse of Mark 11:11:

“And he entered Jerusalem and went into the temple. And when he had looked around at everything, as it was already late, he went out to Bethany with the twelve.”

Jesus, entering the temple of Jerusalem, looked around at everything, and the event takes place a week before Easter, marking Jesus’s triumphant entry into Jerusalem. Instead of doing a prose meditation on the three-part sermon from Rev. Dr. Gregory C. Ellison, I have decided to do a poetry meditation on his wise teachings and words.

How did I get here?

Lord,

Sometimes I will fool myself and wonder whether a particular thought of memory I have is the memory of a distant memory in the past.

But I then see that I’m instead thinking of a memory of today, that I’m actually thinking about now.

And I look around at everything. as your son once did.

And I came in with grief and sorrow, but now I am watered with unrelenting joy.

This is your plan, and I couldn’t have gotten here without purpose, without all my mistakes and successes leading me to where you want me to be.

Yes, as much as I doubt the thought, I am supposed to be here.

Ther Genesis 50:20 rule applies to my life and my actions.

What I and others intended for evil, you intended for good.

I look around at everything, the good, the bad, the ugly, and know that in some way, you intended for me to be here.

And so I move onto the next question.

Why am I here?

Knowing that you have me here for a plan and purpose, then, Lord,

I need more. I need to know some sort of reason for this.

Like Thomas, I doubt, I always doubt when I can’t see your miracles for myself.

So, Father, Son, Holy Spirit, show me a sign of that purpose and explain to me why I’m here instead of where I was initially supposed to be.

Tell me why I still need to give up everything, and I will be overjoyed.

But I know that even if I don’t interpret one of your signs, everything here is a sign that this, as you did for Joseph, is what you intend for good.

You have shown me everything, and what I need to do now is see and believe.

And so I move onto the next question.

Where do I go from here?

Lord, I once asked my pastor on advice about complete surrender to your will.

How do I know what you want from me right now? It’s not like I hear voices in my head of your plan.

“You don’t know,” he said. “That’s what faith means.”

The truth is I don’t know where I go from here.

But again, that’s where I need to trust in you and your mission from me, that I will end up in the right place once and for all, maybe not in this life, but the next.

You sent your son to die for me on the cross and wash away my sins,

And if you did that for him, I know you’ll do the same for me.

Originally published at https://www.theodysseyonline.com on April 29, 2019.

Written by

Believer, Baltimore City special ed teacher, and 2:40 marathon runner. Diehard fan of “The Wire,” God’s gift to the Earth. E-mail: ryanfan17@gmail.com

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