Zita, thank you for this sobering piece and reminder that the world will go on without us. I, too, can have my phone be completely silent for days on end if I don’t reach out to anyone or take any initiative (unless I’m wanted for something at work). If I’m not people-pleasing or needed for something, either, I can be totally invisible to people.

The article reminded me of a book I read by a high-profile pastor I respect, who shared an anecdote of how he went on vacation for two weeks and worried the whole time about how his church was functioning. He came back to see that his assistant had done an excellent job and led the church even better than he did, and how that reality felt bittersweet, but wasn’t something he took personally.

If someone can’t go on without us, that means they’re dependent on us. As a mother, you can expect that with your kids. But as much as I love my friends, I don’t want them to be dependent on me. I can barely take care of myself as it is.

I’m reminded of the times I hang out with my best friends and we can go for hours without saying a word and spend hours in silence as we do our own respective work. That doesn’t mean our friendship is weak, but rather that it is strong because we have that comfort level with each other. These friends know how much these relationships mean to me especially when we see each other, even if we haven’t texted each other in a month.

Great article and thank you for sharing, Zita!

Written by

Believer, Baltimore City special ed teacher, and 2:40 marathon runner. Diehard fan of “The Wire,” God’s gift to the Earth. E-mail: ryanfan17@gmail.com

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